A Day In Six Weeks
by SleepingStarlight
Summary: On the day before Josh's 18th birthday (the last day of their six weeks), a few things come to light and a few moments are shared. A Josh and Maya (Joshaya) FanFic. Now with a few moments following.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've chosen to ignore the fact that Zay offered Maya company in Girl Meets Bear for plot purposes. Hope that's not too disappointing for anybody! I've decided to post this one-shot as a prompt for a multi-chapter Joshaya story that I'll be posting relatively soon. While the two stories are as of yet separate, nothing has 100% been decided yet.**

 **I can't wait to go on this journey with you guys, please review and let me know what you think/how I can improve! I love feedback, whether it be positive or negative.**

\- SleepingStarlight

 **WARNING: There is strong language in here, so read at your own discretion and let me know if you think I should change the rating.**

 **And lastly, I own none of these characters nor any aspects from the show Girl Meets World.**

Birthdays weren't always the best for Josh. Everyone would have Valentine's plans, (he rarely would), and as a result everyone would always celebrate hastily. So, in all honesty, university was refreshing in this aspect- and this aspect alone- because everyone had to go to school anyways so he didn't really feel like he was missing anything. He was going for a few drinks after class with his friends the next day, but for now he was heading over to Cory's to spend the evening with his family, and a certain blonde, he thought with a smile.

He pressed the buzzer confidently while waiting out in the frigid air. Another disadvantage of being born in February, _it was always fucking cold_.

"Come on up Uncle Josh," he heard Riley say through the speaker box. It had been a while, he reflected on his trek up the stairs. They had changed the carpet on the landing to a red and green manifestation, clearly left over from Christmas and he couldn't help but chuckle thinking that they should've gotten the Valentine's Day memo by now.

As he knocked on the door, he heard the sound of feet running before a ten year old Auggie flung opened the door, then launched himself at his uncle enthusiastically. He had gotten a bit bigger, so Josh didn't lift him up, but instead knelt down and gathered his nephew into a bone-crushing hug. It had been way too long.

"Uncle Josh!" he heard Riley cry before running and draping herself over him in a hug from behind- essentially dogpiling him and Auggie.

"Niche Riley," he called with a laugh, seeing the puzzled look on her face.

"Only Uncle Eric can call me that!" She said sternly as she got up.

"Understood," he replied with mock solemnity that Riley bought up so easily. "My brotha," he shouted reaching out to Cory for a hug.

"I almost thought you forgot about me," Cory said with a pout.

"Never could, honey," Josh replied watching Cory's expression as he slowly registered what was just said.

"I'm not your honey, Joshie!" He cried out defensively, reaching for Topanga, "I'm hers," he added smugly.

"Pangerz!" Josh shouted excitedly before reaching for a hug.

"Josh," Topanga said through her laughter, "you can't just adopt Eric's nicknames for us, he'll get all territorial and I don't want to deal with that next time he comes down for Christmas!"

"Yeah, okay," Josh reconciled with a smile. _He missed this_.

"Come'on kid," Cory said while grabbing Josh by the arm and dragging him to the kitchen. "I love you so much that I thought I'd try my hand at your favourite dish, Lasagna. So, you can at least set the table," he said handing a pile of plates to Josh with over-dramatic disdain.

"Fine, Honey!" Josh said sarcastically, loving to antagonize Cory and fully expecting what would happen next.

"I'M NOT YOUR HONEY," Cory yelled exasperatedly.

{ … }

"Maya's coming!" Riley called, running to the kitchen as everybody was preparing to eat. "She just texted me. Oh crap, it was supposed to be a surprise. Josh try and act surprised!" she instructed.

"Oh okay, good," Topanga said while taking the lasagna from Cory after he burned his hand, and setting it on the table.

Josh smiled, happy at the news. He had wondered where she was, considering she was always at his brother's house. It wouldn't have felt quite the same without her and he had come to value her company to a degree which he hadn't before. Whenever circumstance brought them together, they would spend sometimes over an hour conversing about anything they could, not wanting the moment to end. And while they were getting closer, Josh still felt the need to put some boundaries between them. And he usually drew the line at some mutual flirting, much to the discomfort of Cory.

He had just taken his seat at the table when he heard the front door close quietly and felt a pair of hands covering his eyes. "Guess who?" she asked childishly.

"Well," he thought out loud, trying to remember her exact wording, "who do I most want to be here?"

He felt the hands move away from his face.

"You told him, didn't you Riles?" Maya asked, slightly disgruntled.

"Yeaaa." Riley admitted guiltily.

"It's okay Maya, it was kind of obvious anyways," Josh said. "I'll always be able to tell if it's you," he said, offering her a smile.

Maya laughed, then plopped herself down in the seat across from him, meeting his eyes then hastily looking away.

"So how's high school going for you two?" Josh asked while reaching for the salad.

"Oh, it's so exciting Uncle Josh," Riley recounted happily. "There is so much drama, and I didn't know it, but now I live for it! I tried out for the cheer team again, but it didn't work out. So I decided to join Global Issues! I've realized it's time that I get information about the world, aside from what the Riley Committee decides to tell me," she said with pride. "And Lucas and I are together!" she squealed. "He's so sweet, and we help each other with our homework, AND he invited me to go to Texas with him to meet his family in the summer. They still haven't said yes though," she said gesturing to her parents.

"Yeah, sorry for ruining your highschool career Riles, but I think you'll survive," Topanga quipped through her mouthful of lasagna.

"What about you, Maya?" Josh asked, naturally expecting a less enthusiastic response than Riley's, but still more than he received.

"Good," she said, not looking at him directly and causing him to feel instant concern. But, she obviously didn't feel like talking about it there, so he saved it for another time and proceeded to ask Auggie how the fourth grade was carrying out. After lengthy replies on everybody's behalf except Maya's, they finished their food and began to clean up.

"Oh, come on Josh," Topanga exclaimed while putting the dishes in the sink. "Tomorrow's your birthday, go sit down with the kids, this isn't your job."

"You sure?" he asked hesitant to leave all the work for them.

"Yeah, go have fun." She smiled.

He scanned the living room for Maya, hoping to ask for more details on her abrupt reply earlier, (after all it seemed to be their thing to figure out their problems as a unit). So he walked over to Riley's room, fully expecting to see the two huddling by the bay window, but instead saw a small Maya-shaped bundle sitting on the fire escape. He heard footsteps behind him and ran into Riley, who glanced suspiciously between him in her room and Maya outside.

"I was going to follow her, but you can take it this time," Riley cautiously said to him before backing out of the room slowly. Near the door, she turned to him and carefully said, "she's already a bit broken, so please be careful with her," before leaving and closing the door behind her.

So he headed out onto the fire escape towards the small body huddled against the cold. Climbing through the window, he noticed how small the escape really was and gulped nervously, before allowing his mind to settle and sit down next to her with his shoulder pressed against hers. He could feel a startlingly loud heartbeat and checked himself. He was nervous. Maya did that to him, and trust him, it wasn't a new effect. He felt himself relax a bit when he heard her steady breathing next to him. She hadn't said a word so far, so he turned to her with a question on his lips.

"I don't want to talk about it," she interrupted abruptly. She _was not_ going to have this conversation with Josh of all people.

"Self-centred much?" he immediately quipped after retracting his question hastily. This would clearly have to be approached differently. Although, making a strategic plan was a bit difficult with her sitting so close to him, cheeks and lips pink and flushed from the cold air that swirled around them. _She's sixteen_ , he reproached himself while cursing inwardly. So he cleared his throat and continued, "I just wanted to update you on Schnoop-a-loop," he said with a slight laugh. She smiled next to him and he took that as a sign to keep going. "He tried to wake me up this morning to help him reach a spot he couldn't reach on his back in the shower. I had to physically leave. I went to my first class in my pajamas," he said, madly hoping to put another smile on her face. So when she began to laugh, he sighed in relief. But her next words pierced his bravado slightly.

"How is it _actually_ going Josh?" She asked with concern. She had heard Riley mention briefly how difficult it was for him to adjust and how lonely he got on occasion.

He looked at her, trying to decipher her expression, but eventually gave up when she continued to only show him her profile and gaze out onto the busy street.

"It isn't easy," he sighed dejectedly. "You think you know exactly how everything is going to pan out, but you don't. Half the time I'm surrounded by people I don't know very well, and the other half, sometimes you get to spend with your friends, but a lot of it, you're just doing work. Schoolwork, or a job to pay for your schoolwork, it's relentless. You don't really get a break." It was wearing him down to a degree, each night he fell into bed exhausted. "I feel like a shitty uncle," he lamented, mildly noticing that he had never sworn in front of Maya before. She just seemed so much older this time. "I never even get to drop by anymore. Auggie's growing up and I'm not around half as much as I want to be. Riley and Lucas, they're together and essentially Cory and Topanga 2.0. And I'm missing it all." He glanced nervously towards her, "I'm missing you," he said, reaching out and grabbing her hand. It was still their six weeks until tomorrow, he thought.

"Yeah, okay, Boing." She said, feeling her heart flutter slightly.

"But, enough about me," he said, glancing at her and hoping she'd do the same. "What is going on with you?" he asked, "You're never this quiet at dinner. I already opened up, so now it's your turn. After all," he smiled, "conversation is the most important part of any relationship, and if you open up, you and I will have just had another amazing one."

She turned to him shyly with a smile on her face, happy that he had remembered what she had said that day. He's so close to her that she can't focus, so she turns to the side again, and begins to talk as the smile falls from her lips. Josh can't help but lament its loss.

"Um," she began, "things have just been a little difficult lately." She swallowed audibly before continuing, "Riley and Huckleberry have been together for a while now, and I guess I've become a little bit of a third wheel. They've only been an item for a little while and yet, they gravitate to one another. I can be standing with Riley at her locker talking, and the next moment she's across the hall with the Cowboy doing their awkwardly adorable 'Hi/Hey" thing. And I can't be mad at her, I mean have you seen how happy she is? I could never complain to her about it, she's just a lovestruck fool, and I love her too much to demand anymore of her time, especially since I know she would never hesitate if she knew how I felt." She took a deep breath before continuing, the hardest part was yet to come. "I just- it's hard and I kind of want what _they have._ And I'm so tired Josh." She sighed sadly, "I want someone to look at me that way. As if I'm their entire world. I just want somebody to love me," she murmured, glancing down at their intertwined hands, almost feeling the current passing through their fingers as tiny electric shocks overloaded her senses.

She looked up at him and he felt his breath catch in his throat because her eyes were _so fucking blue_ and her face was rosy from the wind and he had to physically restrain himself before he did something stupid.

She looked back down at their hands and continued, even though she hadn't planned on pouring her heart out to him, on his birthday of all days. "It's hard to wait on you," she said, feeling her heart palpitate beneath her ribs, "I know- I know that wasn't part of our deal, but I just don't want anyone else, and this-" she gestured between the two of them, "This is only a few months old, and I can't stop thinking about you." This was spinning out of control, she reflected, but her mouth opened of its own accord and she couldn't help what spilled out next. "I've _never_ been behind Riley on _anything_. She always used to follow me around, but now _she's_ got a boyfriend, and I caught them making out in the Janitor's closet one time. I've _never even been kissed_. I've never dated _anybody_. All I've ever wanted is you, but I know that's not even true for you." This wasn't fair, she knew it wasn't, but she continued on regardless. She was rambling, and very little would stop her now. "I know you have. You've had girlfriends and other people in your life. You've kissed them and told them you loved them, they were your age and probably oozing sex appeal and maturity, and it keeps me up sometimes wondering what it is about us- about me- that I can't have that. That I can't have you, and be with you, but for everyone else it's fair game." She began to feel tears well up in her eyes, and she couldn't help but think that _this was not how it was supposed to go_. "I wouldn't even blame you if you wanted to drop out of our little game, it probably doesn't even mean very much, does it?" She asked, bitterness lacing her tone as she turned towards him and looked him in the eye.

Josh sat with his thoughts racing a million miles per hour. He couldn't begin to understand- but _no_ , he could see where this was coming from. He had always pushed her to remember that they were in different stages of life and it seemed to have finally caught up with her. And this was never the way he had intended it to. And his heart was breaking for this girl that he lov- liked, but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Maya," he began, choosing his words carefully with his voice being slightly dry from everything that had just happened, "You have no reason to be this insecure. And, I'm feeling everything that you are right now. I miss you every time I think about you. And, when we're like this," he said, squeezing their conjoined hands, "I feel everything. And when we talk, even conversations like this," he laughed, "I just want to keep going. It's honestly one of my favourite things. I love our six weeks together, but I wish they were everyday. Um," he swallowed, "I have dated other girls. And I thought that I loved them, but it was the kind that you don't quite understand when you're a boy that age. Unless you're Cory, that is," he chuckled, his brother was the model of unattainability in a relationship. "I've never felt anything close to holding your hand. It's addictive. You're amazing, I meant what I said that day. And-" he hesitated, "when we're sitting this close to each other, I just want to kiss you," he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, "but I don't think I would be able to stop," he said huskily. "You have no idea how many things I have to remind myself I can't do with you," he whispered. "And, this may be a long list," he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, his lips barely brushing them causing her to shiver, "but trust me, you're ridiculously more gorgeous than anybody I've ever met before, and I never forget it." He could see her face lift considerably while he spoke and she looked at him with eyes that he would never be able to forget. She trusted him, utterly and completely, and while a part of him was jumping for joy from that look, the rest of him felt scared. Everything was happening so fast.

He could see her leaning in closer to him- a difficult feat considering they were already so close to one another.

He could count the freckles on her nose.

He could see her eyes sparkle with mischief and slight nerves, and he was suddenly so relieved to see that look again that he almost missed what she said next.

"In that case, happy birthday Boing," she said before leaning in tentatively, giving him the chance to move away, before closing the space and gently pressing her trembling lips against his. He almost melted right then and there when she began to try and move her lips against his, scared with inexperience and clearly begging for him to reciprocate. He could feel her shivering, whether from the cold, or from what was happening he didn't know. In all honesty, he knew very little at the moment and was lost in the sensation of her. He must have been in shock, because she began to move away, a slight hurt and disappointed look clouding her face. He could see her beginning to close herself off again, and that couldn't happen, so he reached forward as though he was drowning, closing the few inches between them and encapsulating her shuddering lips within his again. He wanted nothing but Maya, nothing but the way she felt in his arms as he wrapped them around her waist. Nothing but the electric current he could feel travelling through the both of them. Nothing but the tender, sweet kisses she kept giving him, when suddenly they began to move more fervently against one another. He gasped when she started understanding the rhythm, and sucked on his lower lip before biting it and releasing it. He groaned before tracing her lips with his tongue and begging for entrance. It was all happening so fast, and going so far that he just kept going when she opened her lips and gasped into his mouth as his tongue tangled with hers gently. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck before shifting onto his lap for a better position. She could still feel his tongue against hers, trying to entice something out of her, so she began kissing with what little she knew, leaving Josh breathless in the process. This was everything she wanted, she thought as she moved his hands to her hips when his mouth shifted downwards and began kissing the column of her neck as she gasped at the sensations flooding her body. His mouth started off gentle, but progressed to hot, open-mouthed kisses pressed near her collar-bone at the base of her neck. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her mouth when he bit down lightly then soothed it over with his tongue, leaving a mark.

She could feel warmth radiating from him all over her body. This was where she was meant to be. Her hands roamed his soft hair desperately and she felt lost with everything happening around her. He was so careful with her, and he knew what he was doing, she reflected as he returned to her mouth and expertly opened her lips. It felt so loving that she just stopped, stopped moving and let him drive her senseless. It was all so new, and she didn't know what to do so she tried mimicking him and the patterns he traced onto her tongue. If his response was any indication, he loved it and the low noise in the back of his throat sent shivers through her body. It was just so perfect.

She panted slightly, shifting her weight on his lap, and suddenly everything registered to Josh. He tore himself away from her and dropped his head to her shoulder trying to catch his breath. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck gently, contrasting to before, and buried her head into his neck, pressing soft kisses to it as she calmed down.

 _This has gone way too far_ , Josh thought and he half-lifted Maya out of his lap, while she whined from the lack of warmth in contrast to the frigid air. Josh placed his head in his hands, trying to calm his racing heart and let Maya take his hand, interlacing their fingers once again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "That never should have happened, I- I mean I wanted to, but not when you're hurting and not right now. Your first kiss," he groaned, "Oh god, your first kiss is supposed to be sweet, not some college guy shoving his tongue down your throat" he said, seeing what just happened the way he assumed Maya had. He was beginning to ramble when Maya pressed her lips gently to his for no more than a few seconds. This kind of kiss she could handle, she thought. Whereas Josh tried to memorize everything about her lips in whatever time he had. Their softness, the way she gasped lightly every time they connected as though each time she was surprised that he had let her come this far, and the light sweet taste of her. It would be awhile before they could ever do this again- a fact Josh was very aware of but it hadn't quite struck Maya yet.

He broke away reluctantly, instead bringing their foreheads together lightly as they shared the same air. He closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to create some space between them.

Maya laughed nervously, noticing what he was doing, and quietly looked him in the eye and said, "It's okay Josh. I know someday isn't today, and… that's okay. And that was a perfect first kiss, so don't be so dramatic," she blushed. And Josh didn't think he had ever seen her blush.

He looked at her and felt a painful pang in his chest at the way she was looking at him. As though she trusted him with her life _and_ heart, and those two things were not mutually exclusive. He couldn't give her what she wanted, she couldn't have a normal highschool relationship with him. They couldn't experience everything together, they were destined to go their own ways for a while. And while it was one of the hardest things he'd done, he knew it had to work that way. And he knew that she knew it as well, despite how difficult it would be.

There was nothing else to say, so he held out his hand in their timeless agreement, "Someday?" he asked tentatively.

Her response surprised him, she grabbed his hand and yanked him towards her, whispering in his ear, "I think we've gotten past that a little bit, don't you think Boing? When you turn eighteen tonight, we can go back to before," before slamming their lips together and kissing him with such determination, that what she lacked yet in skill, she made up for in other ways, causing him to moan as she released him and climbed through the window sill, sticking a hand out to help him in. He gratefully accepted it, his head was spinning so harshly that he doubted he could walk straight after everything that had just happened.

Once they were inside, Maya placed a hand on his chest and pushed him slightly before walking out Riley's bedroom door. After the initial confusion, he began to understand that he should wait a minute, then rejoin the general populace so as to not raise any suspicion. He began to hear everyone calling for him and walked out into the kitchen, astounded as he took in everything that had been orchestrated in his short absence. Banners were hung skillfully by Riley, Auggie had used his mini balloon pump to blow up birthday balloons, and Cory and Topanga had brought out a cake just large enough for a six of them with three candles on them.

"What does three candles have to do with an eighteenth birthday Cor?" Josh asked jokingly, hoping to hide his flustered face.

"We're cheap, okay?! Ya imp," he shouted exasperatedly, pointing to Maya across the room with Riley, "You know, she asked the exact same question!"

"Ha, ha, ha" Josh laughed, hyper aware and awkward to have Cory mention both he and Maya at the same time after the events on the fire escape. "What a coincidence," he shrugged, hoping to seem nonchalant.

"Whatever, kid," Topanga said, carrying over the cake, placing it on the counter, and gesturing for Josh to stand on the other side so they could take a picture.

"Come'on Uncle Josh," Auggie said excitedly, "make a wish!"

Josh looked up at the people around him and his eyes rested momentarily on Maya. He could see the way she looked at him, and he was sure it was mirrored in his own eyes. He knew how painful this would be for her, their game. He knew that he had made it a thousand times worse with what happened outside. So when he saw the trust in her eyes, (in eyes that have seen little reason to trust before), he wished for the impossible- that he would never cause her pain, and blew out the candles.

{ … }

After the cake had been cut and served, everyone settled into their plans for the night. Cory and Topanga had gotten tickets for the Opera which was meant to be their Valentine's Day excursion, but having found out that tickets were cheaper the day before, they headed out around seven that evening. Riley headed over to Lucas's (with a new and strict curfew that Josh had no intention of enforcing) and Auggie went to his wife's apartment a few doors down. So as Josh sat down to watch a rerun of SNL, he was painfully aware that Maya was just a few doors down in Riley's room.

He was halfway through the episode when he heard the light patter of feet in the hallway and saw an adorable Maya with her hair in a braid, cute pajama shorts, and small booties on her feet. She grabbed another slice of cake from the kitchen and settled down on the couch next to him without saying a word. Her hand found his own and he laced his fingers with hers naturally, rubbing a comforting thumb across her knuckles. There was a half-hour to midnight and the end of the show. So when the ending credits began to play and the digital clock said 11:59 p.m., Maya let go of his hand, gave him a light peck, and watched the new morning come in before quietly saying, "Happy 18th, Boing," and heading to bed, slightly sad that they were once again three years apart.

She may have been hopeful, but Josh felt both hope and a sense of dread for all the pain they were about to put each other through, just by living their own individual lives. He touched his lips, the ghosting remembrance of her lips glancing over his. _He was in so fucking deep._


	2. Stacks of Books

**Hey fam!**

 **I'm finally back and I'd like to apologize for such a long wait (not necessarily for this story, but just updating in general). I hope you guys had an amazing holiday, regardless of what you were celebrating, and that you enjoy this addition to _A Day In Six Weeks_! As many of you know, I wasn't planning on adding to this, it seemed to stand well on its own, but I couldn't resist when I the idea struck. Hopefully it does the first half justice, and it's also super long (for what I'm used to), so happy reading! I can't wait to hear your feedback, your reviews mean the world to me :) Who knows, maybe I'll add to this again!**

 **You guys are incredible and I'm in love with each and every one of you!**

 **- _SleepingStarlight_**

* * *

 _Another day, another circumstance, and endless stacks of books between them. Granted, they never seemed to make much of a difference._

The air was frigid when Josh made his way to the Matthews, slightly nervous as to how the evening would proceed. He looked at his surroundings anxiously, attempting to seek comfort in the cool flakes falling steadily. It was a frosty December evening, and in Josh's opinion… far too early in the year for any kind of high school prom.

Yet instead of moping in his apartment with a bucket of ice cream, he found himself rushing to his brother's house to babysit. Cory, who had sworn that he would be haunting his daughter's prom night like Hamlet's ghost, had double booked himself. He had naively assumed that the prom would take place in the summer, like any reasonable one would. Instead, he found himself on a plane with Topanga on their way to Florida, groaning at their original intention to escape the cold.

Josh chuckled as he wondered what kind of havoc his older brother's mind was wreaking at the moment. Cory knew how prom nights usually concluded and was experiencing a special kind of agony knowing his daughter was going with her boyfriend of three years, and he wasn't there to restrict her. He had been all for cancelling their trip, but Topanga had lost it on him, asking whether he truly did not trust his daughter enough to make the right decision. He had red-facedly screamed no at her, but Topanga had managed to drag him to Florida regardless. How fun a trip it would be was questionable, but at least she had gotten him to come.

How did this concern Josh? Well, the night of their argument, he had received a panicked call from Cory. Josh had immediately jumped to conclusions within the first two seconds of the phone call, assuming that there was likely a fire or crime occurring in the apartment. He noticed how his older brother's voice was raised an octave and screaming bloody murder, and he was almost out the door before Cory finally seemed to gain control of his speech and blurted out the purpose of the phone call.

"Cancel your plans, you're babysitting Friday night."

"Excuse me?" Josh asked incredulously, dropping his coat to the floor and sitting on his bed exasperatedly. The prelude seemed a bit excessive in comparison to the request.

"Are you deaf?!" Cory screamed again, causing Josh to move his ear away from the speaker. "You need to babysit tomorrow, end of discussion!"

"I'm going to need a bit more here buddy," Josh sighed. Even this was a bit dramatic for his brother's usual antics. "You do realize Riley can watch Auggie herself? She's not entirely dysfunctional."

"Ya know, funnily enough, that's not what I'm worried about." Cory huffed, seeming to finally calm down.

"Then what is it?" Josh asked, beginning to lose his patience. "Just spit it out!"

Cory gasped from the other side, "That is not how you talk to your elders Joshie!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Your Highness," Josh mocked, laying back onto his sheets and closing his eyes with a smile, knowing how his next words would be received. "Would you consider sparing your precious time to explain what the hell has got you so royally… fucked up?"

"JOSH!" Cory yelped, shocked at his younger brother's attitude.

"SPIT IT OUT COR OR I'M HANGING UP!"

"It's the girls' prom, and Topanga and I are supposed to be in Florida." Cory sighed into the phone, groaning again as to how screwed he was if his younger brother refused.

"And….?" Josh prompted, trying to understand how this was a bad thing.

"I need you to make sure nothing… goes down at the apartment after… ya know." Cory smacked his forehead, bumbling in regards to how much the prospect agitated him. "I mean- I won't- like- we- we won't be there-"

Josh almost laughed as he caught what his brother was insinuating, suddenly understanding why he seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack. "You know Cor, I'm pretty sure my guarding the apartment wouldn't really make a difference if Riles and Lucas really wanted to fuck." Josh grimaced, he thought he could pull off that sentence nonchalantly, but he couldn't help but cringe at the idea. His niece was only seventeen years old, and while his opinions were obviously irrelevant, he couldn't help but hope that the two of them waited a little longer so that his brother wouldn't attempt to castrate Lucas on return from his "peaceful" vacation.

"Are you implying that you wouldn't stop them?!" Cory shrieked, agitated beyond belief. He never remembered conversations with his younger brother being this stressful.

"That's not what I'm saying Cor," Josh groaned, beginning to get a headache from his brother's loud, expressive statements. "You know what, fine. I'll do it. But only if you promise to hang up after this."

"When did you get so sassy Josh?" Cory asked incredulously, relieved as he felt his heartbeat return to a normal pace for the first time in three hours.

"You've just never bugged me this much Cor. This has got you shook hasn't it?"

"Honestly." Cory replied with an over dramatic air to his tone. "You have to watch both of the girls though, so you better not take this lightly. As if one isn't enough, Maya got herself a date for the night. He disgusts me."

Josh froze for a second, taking in his surroundings as he processed Cory's words. "Maya's got a date?" he echoed, confusion apparent in his voice.

"Yeah, some Logan kid! It's like they have no consideration for my poor old heart anymore…" Cory sighed, becoming slightly melancholy. "I'm not as young as I used to be Joshie."

"Yeah sure… you're old… but I'm sorry, Maya has a date?" Josh repeated, grasping straws even though he knew she was perfectly right in finding someone.

"Seriously Josh, are you deaf?" Cory scoffed before continuing, "She asked him out a week ago. It's been all the rage, where have you been?"

"Um, midterms?" Josh muttered distractedly. _Maya had a date_. It was probably someone her own age- someone who could take her to prom without being questioned incessantly... judged incessantly. It stung a little, even though he knew it was necessary. She had to live her life, prom and all. He wasn't there to interfere with that.

"Oh yeah," Cory said, remembering Josh's hectic study schedule the week before. "Well at least they're finished. Anywho, Topanga and I are leaving at eight for the airport, I want you at the apartment by seven-thirty. We good?"

"Yeah," Josh sighed reluctantly. "We good."

* * *

"Come on in kiddo!" Topanga's voice called from inside as Josh knocked on the door. "You know Cor, we should probably give him his own key. He's always hanging around anyways."

"Puh-lease Topanga. He's here to babysit the girls." Cory said, attempting to move a pile of suitcases towards the door with little success.

"Wait a second," Topanga paused. "Are you seriously telling me that you hired your brother to watch over two adults?"

"They're ALMOST-adults, not adults, Honey. They need to be watched," Cory stated, convinced of his logic.

"It's okay Topanga, I really don't mind," Josh smiled, cutting off her mid-protest. "Besides, I get to spend some time with Augs. I haven't seen him much since midterms started."

"Well," Topanga sighed, hating to break the news. "Auggie's at Dewy's, I didn't want to leave him alone tonight. I didn't know you were coming," she shrugged guiltily. "Nobody told me," she glared at her husband who let out a squeak and rushed out the door with his bag, presumably to go load the cab waiting below. But who really knew.

"You're going to be alone for a little while, the girls should be home by midnight" Topanga said, looking for her carry-on. "I hope you brought stuff to do."

"Yeah, it's no biggie," Josh said, reaching in his bag to pull out a psych textbook. "I've got some reading to do for class anyways."

"That's always the case in university, isn't it?" Topanga smiled, happy those days were behind her.

"Ugh, tell me about it." Josh groaned, "it's never ending." It definitely felt so at times. He was past his first year, but things never settled down as he expected them to. His to-do list was ever-growing and he could barely make time for the things he loved anymore, let alone the people he loved.

"You got it Josh, you're a smart kid. I'm sure you'll do fine." Topanga reassured, settling onto the arm of the couch and squeezing his shoulder comfortingly. "I gotta go. I'm assuming you'll have everything under control?"

"Yes ma'am!" Josh mock-saluted, drawing out of his reverie sharply.

"Okay, have fun I guess! I'll see you in a bit," Topanga called before closing the door behind her figure. Josh smiled before settling into a comfortable position on the couch. Those two really did deserve a vacation.

* * *

"Lucas," Riley mumbled against Lucas' lips outside of her apartment door. "We can't tonight," she sighed, regretting the words as they left her mouth. "I promised my mom I wouldn't desecrate our apartment while they're gone."

"Mhmm," Lucas responded, backing up and bumping his nose against hers lovingly. "I get it Riles, don't worry," he sighed, missing her already. "Maybe another time," he smiled, squeezing her hand.

"Thanks for understanding Lucas," Riley said, smiling as she remembered how lucky she was to find a boyfriend who never pressured her to any degree. She liked to think that they had built their relationship on stronger blocks than that anyways.

"I'll see you in the morning Princess," he said, leaning forward to peck her cheek. "Maybe we can grab breakfast in the morning?"

"Sorry buddy, Maya and I are going out tomorrow so we can talk everything over. Maybe dinner?"

"Sounds good," Lucas gave her another peck, unable to resist the temptation, "I had an amazing time tonight," he leaned forward, brushing his lips against her ear lightly, "You looked stunning."

"Ugh, you're so cheesy Lucas." Riley said, attempting to scrunch up her nose in disgust with little success.

"You love it," Lucas grinned, heading for the stairs. Riley thrived under his expressions of love and he learned that a long time ago.

"Maybe…" Riley let out a sheepish grin. "Just go you big cheeseball! I'll see you tomorrow anyways."

"Night," Lucas said by means of reply, disappearing around the edge of the stairwell.

Riley sighed and leaned against the door, utterly satisfied with her evening. She couldn't have asked for any better. She opened the door to the apartment, cringing at the loud creak it made in the process, only to see a plaid covered Josh asleep on the couch with a textbook opened flat on his chest. He woke up suddenly as Riley stepped into the room, her tall heels clacking harshly on the hardwood.

"What are you doing here Josh?" Riley asked incredulously. She never should have believed her Dad trusted her on her prom night.

"Babysitting you," Josh groaned, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Although I'm not sure how enthusiastic I am about it anymore after that tone you just used with me."

"Ugh, you are so annoying," Riley breathed, tossing herself onto the couch in exhaustion. It had been a long night.

"That's what I'm here for," Josh sighed, leaning back into the cushions for his second time. "Where's Maya?" he asked, looking around him in confusion.

"She has a house you know?" Riley responded, slightly exasperated.

"Do you honestly think I believe that she wouldn't be staying here with you on her prom night?" Josh questioned impatiently. He was tired, not stupid.

Riley smacked her head into her palms, annoyed with her uncle's interrogation. The night had gone perfectly until that moment. It had been nice while it lasted. "She's with her date, Uncle Josh. She's coming in a bit," Riley sighed. "They were about to leave when we left so she'll probably be here in like five minutes anyways, you can calm down a bit."

Josh nearly laughed at the pained expression on his niece's face, she had clearly expected to have the the apartment to herself (and Maya) that night.

"I'm heading to bed," Riley declared, standing up suddenly and gathering the folds of her dress around her in a whirl of pale blue. "It's always nice to know my parents don't trust me," she called as she stomped down the hallway, annoyed with the conclusion of her evening, yet sleepy enough to collapse into bed without any trouble.

Josh wearily sat on the couch for the second time that evening, taking a look at the clock on the far wall. It was close to one and clearly pushing the curfew that Cory and Topanga had set. He was desperate to not play chaperone with Maya, it would seem odd considering the nature of their relationship, yet he couldn't help but worry slightly when he realized that not only was she late, but he wasn't even entirely sure if she was coming that night. Students often had other plans for their prom night, and with Cory and Topanga out of town… it seemed only natural that Maya would monopolize on that time with her date. However, his worries were immediately answered with the sound of a key jiggling in the lock of the apartment and some light giggling behind the door. He recognized it immediately and stood up as the door burst open somewhat loudly and in stumbled a sight Josh wished he didn't have to see. Maya walked into the apartment messily, but in all fairness, she was also otherwise engaged. She had her arms wrapped around her date's neck, their lips locked in a passionate embrace. Josh stood there for a second in absolute shock, announcing his presence loudly only upon hearing Maya's moan the second following their arrival. The couple shot apart as though doused in cold water and Maya's eyes found Josh's before immediately looking away in embarrassment. _Honestly, of all the people to run into that night_. Josh watched as a blush crept onto her cheeks, flooding her face with the softest hue of pink. And despite the circumstances, he couldn't help but bemoan the fact that he hadn't been the one to put it there.

Josh looked at the couple skeptically, clearing his throat for the second time, "Um… hey guys," he said awkwardly, watching as Maya grabbed her date's hand and dragged him to the door without explanation, simply muttering a "Good night" before closing the door and whipping around to face Josh (who seemed to have been attempting to formulate words throughout the entirety of their brief interaction).

"Don't you dare say anything," Maya snapped at him defensively, "it's not like you fucking waited either."

 _It was warm summer day when Maya ventured over to the Matthews' that morning. The walk had been surprisingly pleasant, and Maya could not help but be in a good mood as a result. Her hair flew around her face as she walked to the apartment, and she loved the heat of the sunlight on her shorts-clad legs. It was truly a New York summer. She reached the bottom of Riley's fire escape in record time, and climbed into the purple bedroom, feeling the positive atmosphere overwhelm her upon entrance. However, the room, unlike usual, was entirely empty of its usual cheery brunette inhabitant. Maya looked around in confusion briefly before she heard Riley call her from the living room._

" _Maya come on! We gotta go!" Riley yelled, attempting to sound demanding, but in reality maintaining her characteristic sweet tone._

 _Maya walked over leisurely, looking at the chaotic room surrounding her. There were boxes littering the floor and random assortments of objects covering the surface of the couches and countertops. "What's all this trash for, Matthews?" she questioned incredulously, knowing that Topanga would have lost her shit if she had been there. There seemed to be more stuff in this room than Maya had in her entire home._

" _Uncle Josh just moved into his new apartment," Riley explained from behind a tall stack of boxes, her voice slightly muffled._

" _Yeah, I know, but I'm afraid that doesn't cut it for the explanation, dear. I need a bit more," Maya called, attempting to find Riley's face behind the mountain of crap. This seemed slightly (if not extraordinarily) excessive to say the least._

" _We're loaning him everything we don't need, and dad went shopping too!" Riley said, dropping the box in her hands with a huff. "He needs new stuff for his apartment anyways."_

" _He's moving into an apartment Riles, not Versailles." Maya quipped, peeking into an open box on the couch. Inside was a messy assortment of lamps, dishes, and silverware. She had made up her mind, this was_ entirely _unnecessary._

" _Well, we'll see what he needs and then take whatever's left I guess," Riley shrugged, unable to understand why her father had bought so much stuff anyways, but enthusiastic nonetheless._

" _Are you heading over now?" Maya asked, laughing at Cory's idea of apartment necessities as she rifled through a box of hats._

" _Yeah, Dad's attempting to load a cab downstairs. I don't think the cabbie will like all of this stuff though," Riley said somewhat hopelessly, gesturing to the mess surrounding her._

" _We'll see how it goes," Maya winked jokingly, already placing bets on a Cory freak-out. They were her main source of income at times._

" _Oh well," Riley sighed, grabbing Maya's hand and heading towards the door, "Dad'll figure it out."_

* * *

 _Maya glanced out the window apprehensively, slightly nervous as to how Josh would welcome their surprise visit. He wasn't supposed to be home and Cory had decided to put his spare key to use and decorate the apartment in his absence. He had insisted on the surprise portion, stating that he was going to make his little brother's day, fully expecting an excited phone call that evening when Josh made it home._

 _It had been some time since she had last seen him, roughly two or three months. She had gotten his number from Riley the day following their kiss on his birthday, and sent a text on the rare occasion. She had found out about his apartment the day after he had signed the lease. He had sent her an excited photo of the place and the one piece of furniture he had at the time (which was a chair sitting solitarily in the middle of the room). She missed him with something almost palpable but avoided him relatively actively, hating how her sense of longing only increased in his presence. She had tried dating with little success, knowing how emotionally intense things could be with the right person, she felt unsatisfied with anything less. She thought about their time together less as time went by, but that never stopped it from invading her mind at times like this. She had only had him for a few minutes that evening, yet she thought about it all for much longer. She missed the way his lips had mouthed her name lightly against hers. The way he seemed almost overwhelmed in her presence, flushing and reaching for her hand tentatively that night. Promising a someday, but knowing it wasn't that day was among the most trying things that Maya had attempted, although she had cooled down months following their interaction. It was still a sensitive topic though; one that even Riley knew not to breach at times._

 _So when the car pulled into his apartment lot, Maya was grateful that Josh was supposed to not be there. She didn't know if she could handle it at the moment. So, imagine her surprise when Cory unlocked the door carefully (while holding about five boxes) and she walked in to see a shirtless Josh hovering over a brunette girl, clearly making out. They broke apart frantically as they realized someone had walked in and Josh cursed, attempting to grab his t-shirt from the ground next to the couch._

" _What the hell are you guys doing here?!" He gasped, trying to pull his shirt over his head, frantically avoiding eye contact with Maya who turned around and grabbed Riley's hand desperately. The girl next to him stood up suddenly, looking for her purse with an embarrassed blush on her face. She walked towards the door, hesitantly turning towards him._

" _I'll see you later Josh," she said softly before closing the door behind her._

 _Josh placed his head in his hands with a groan, sitting back onto the couch with a resigned air. "What the fuck, Cor?" Josh groaned, not caring about his language at the moment._

 _Cory had managed to stand stock-still throughout the entire interaction, clearly in shock. That was his little brother. His little brother didn't know how to do that kind of stuff. He was just a kid._

" _Um," Cory began hesitantly, unsure of where to go with the conversation, "we brought stuff for your apartment."_

 _Josh groaned even louder this time, fed-up with his brother's antics. He appreciated them, but at the same time… "I gave you that key for emergencies, Cor!"_

 _Cory bristled at that comment, clearly returning to his normal eccentric attitude. "Are you honestly going to tell me that this room_ isn't _a fashion emergency?" he cried, wildly gesturing to the relatively empty room surrounding him. "We brought curtains, lamps, AND hats, so you can shut your mouth and be thankful right now!" Cory spat, looking at his surroundings in distaste. His brother clearly had no interior decorating skills._

" _Um Dad," Riley looked up in concern, "Maya and I are heading out. I don't think we're going to stick around." Maya had left the apartment moments after the brunette had, waiting outside the door and attempting to deal with her raging emotions._

 _Josh groaned for the third time, if the situation wasn't embarrassing enough, he had managed to hurt Maya as well. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking at the moment, knowing how she retreated when hurt. His eyes stung slightly at the thought. That girl had enough on her plate without him constantly hurting her._

 _Cory looked at his daughter and immediately understood the situation, it wasn't as though Maya's feelings for his brother were a secret. "Yeah, you'd better go," he said carefully, pulling out some cash from his pocket for the cab ride back and handing it to his daughter who left without a word._

 _Cory leaned against the door with a resigned air. He still wasn't entirely sure how to proceed so he went with what he did know._

" _You really screwed up kid," he sighed._

 _Josh turned towards him with a pained expression. "Yeah, I know," he said simply, placing his head in his hands for the third time since they arrived._

* * *

Josh bowed his head, knowing he had no response to her outburst, but said one anyways. "I know," he sighed. "But you're late," he stated simply.

"Are you honestly going to try to be a babysitter right now, Josh?" she spat, venom lacing her tone. "I think I can handle myself. I'm not as young as I used to be."

"After all that," Josh wildly gestured towards the door, trying to maintain some control, "you're honestly going to tell me that I shouldn't have been here? Who knows what the hell you two would have done if I wasn't here!" he snapped with an insinuating tone.

"Watch yourself, Josh." Maya stated threateningly. "You have no fucking idea what I was going to do! And even if, it's none of your _fucking business._ " she whisper-yelled, very aware that it was roughly one in the morning.

"You're just a kid Maya!" Josh groaned, collapsing onto the couch in exasperation. "You have no idea what you're doing with that guy."

"You don't even know his name," Maya yelled, running her hand through her hair in frustration. "Are you honestly reverting to age again? Is that the only argument you can think of? God, you're such an asshole. You have no idea what I know, and it's not like you've ever let me tell you either!"

"I don't have to know his name to know he only wanted to sleep with you Maya!" Josh snapped. "How the fuck are you so naive?"

"His name is Logan!" Maya shouted, a tear streaking down her face from frustration. "And maybe I _wanted_ to sleep with him, Josh! I'm not a fucking kid anymore. I know more than you think."

Josh felt his brain shut down as he watched her look at him in disgust before walking out the door and slamming it shut. He mindlessly stood up and went to the living room window to look outside carefully. It was snowing fiercely and he could barely make out her figure storming down the steps of the building. He sighed in relief as he watched her turn in the direction of her home, glad that she was at least going somewhere familiar tonight.

He made his way back to the couch and sat on it exhaustedly, thoroughly worn out. He grabbed the tv remote mindlessly and flipped to a random channel, grimacing slightly as he saw the opening credits of some romantic comedy. Unsurprisingly, he found he couldn't focus and gave up miserably, revisiting events from the evening relentlessly. He imagined her walking through the door again, but this time he eliminated pesky _Logan_. She closed the door lightly and turned around, smiling when she saw him stand up to greet her. He actually looked at her this time. Last time he couldn't focus on the dreamy blush pink dress she had falling to her feet. But without distraction, he saw her walk towards him and smiled as he reached for her hand and twirled her around, watching as the layers of her dress spun out around her. He could almost hear her light laugh and he wasn't sure at what point during this fantasy he fell asleep, but he did nonetheless.

An hour passed before he woke up suddenly from the sound of ice falling outside the window. He looked around him, slightly panicked when he remembered that his current reality did not reflect his utopian dreams. He scrambled to grab his phone, checking the time and groaning when he realized it was two in the morning. He felt his heart began to race guiltily as he revisited their argument and got up quickly, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep until he had this sorted out. He grabbed his coat absent-mindedly and shoved on his sneakers, very aware that he was still in his pajamas, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He walked down the stairs towards the main entrance of the building and paused for a moment, trying to understand his motivation for doing what he was about to do. They had never parted on such bad terms. They _had_ parted painfully, but never of this sort. He remembered all the times he had had to watch her leave and the spark of pain he felt each and every time when he realized that he couldn't kiss her goodnight. That he couldn't wrap her in his arms and leave with her. It was the Long Game- he was used to painful goodbyes, but this one didn't sit well with him.

So he pushed open the door and walked determinedly out into the cold air. The street was illuminated with a soft yellow glow that turned the snow into pieces of gold. He briefly lifted his head and let a few flakes fall onto his face. The crisp air woke him like nothing else and he sighed before beginning to walk rather hastily. He could have stood there the entire night if it wasn't so frigid, but there were things he needed to do first.

* * *

Maya sat in bed, her laptop in her lap and earphones plugged in firmly. The walk from the Matthews had been absolutely frigid and extraordinarily uncomfortable. Her legs were numb by the time she made it into her front door and she felt as though her feet were ready to fall off. She had immediately pulled on a pair of socks and turned the heating up in the apartment before falling into bed- dress still on and hair undone in a pile of messy blond locks. She felt numb. Both from the cold and her argument from the better half of an hour ago. She felt her hand trembling and stuffed it under her pillow, blindly reaching with her other for her laptop. She set it on her lap and refused to think of what happened, instead choosing a nineties rock album and plugging in her earphones savagely, ready to drown out her sorrows in the classic guitar riffs and screaming vocals. She turned on her side and began scrolling through anything she could find, not attempting to comprehend anything she saw. In all honesty if the Long Game was this painful, she didn't know how long she could play.

* * *

Josh finally made it to the bottom of her building, looking up at her fire escape apprehensively. He knew that he couldn't exactly go through the front door without being assaulted by Katy and Shawn, so he reached for the first rung with a resigned sigh and began to climb. Thank God he had been a tree climber in his early days otherwise he didn't think he could have done it. He felt his thoughts scramble as he reached the window, and he began to suddenly doubt every aspect of his visit. She wouldn't want to see him, he was absurd for thinking so. Maya needed space, and he had to respect that. But at the same time, it felt wrong to have such a big wall between them and he couldn't rest until he knew that he had at least tried to breach it. So he lifted his hand and tapped on the window, praying that she wouldn't throw something at him and kick him out. It was a dangerous tendency of Maya's.

He waited a minute before gently knocking for the second time, beginning to think that she may just be asleep and resigning himself to what that entailed. However, his thoughts were soon answered when the curtain twitched from behind the window pane and Maya's face peered through the glass, looking utterly shocked at his presence. She opened the window with haste, backing out of the way and pulling him in when he hesitated.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She questioned incredulously, shivering at the cold air which flooded in with his presence. Josh could see goosebumps rise on her arm and nearly groaned, knowing that in any normal circumstance he could have given her his jacket, but at this point in time, he didn't deserve to be able to. So he trailed his eyes to the floor and replied quietly.

"Um," he hesitates, "It didn't feel right to leave things the way they were."

Maya sighed, sitting carefully on the edge of her bed and turning to face him. "It's 2:00 a.m," she said lightly, "this couldn't have waited till the morning?"

"I didn't think so. Do you?" he asked with a small voice, knowing how badly he wanted her to forgive him but how little he deserved it. Showing up at her apartment in the middle of the night didn't just randomly fix everything and there was no point in pretending it did. He watched as she contemplated his words carefully and had to physically restrain himself from taking the few steps across to her. She was still wearing her blush dress, but had paired it with knit socks and a sweater draped messily overtop, and he thought that she had never looked so adorable. If things were right, he would have walked over and kissed her hands, wrapping them around his neck and leaning in to capture her lips. But not only were they not together, he had royally fucked up. So he couldn't wrap his arms around her. He couldn't tell her how much he loved her. He couldn't kiss every inch of her face and apologize between them. He had certain restraints, but it was near impossible to abide by them when she looked up at him with slight tears in her eyes.

Unable to resist, he pulled off his jacket and boots and crossed over to her bed in two steps, sitting on the mattress next to her. He turned to her apprehensively, sighing as she stubbornly turned away from him, before grabbing her legs and swinging them onto his lap, forcing her to look at him. She smiled lightly at his persistence and placed her forehead on his shoulder. She was still angry with him and they were still arguing, but it didn't stop her position from feeling anything but right. Josh placed his cheek on the top of her head, lifting his other hand to stroke her hair gently. He sighed, breathing her in before lifting his head to face her, "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I had no right to say what I said. I- I trust you. You have every right to make your own decisions. Please forgive me." he gazed at her unblinkingly and shifting his hand to her ankle.

Maya winced slightly at the contact, loving the warmth that seemed to radiate from his hand, but hating how vulnerable it made her feel. The way he looked at her and held her close to him- it was distinctly _Josh_ and though she knew that the moment they were in wouldn't last, but she couldn't tear herself away from it.

Maya looked up at him and felt the raw sincerity in his voice. But, "It's a bit more than that Josh," she sighed.

"What happened tonight? Was everything okay?" Josh asked, beginning to become slightly worried. He wasn't entirely eager to hear about Maya's prom with another guy, but he knew he needed to ask nonetheless.

"We had a good time," Maya admitted reluctantly. "We did the whole pictures and slow dance thing. He bought me a corsage," she continued, noticing how Josh's hand tensed on her ankle as she went on. "And everything was fine, but near the end he started to ask me if I thought we should get a room, and I said no. He was pretty persistent and I eventually got kind of fed up and asked him to take me home. Riley had left like ten minutes before at this point." Maya began to grimace as she continued with the evening. "We were just outside the door and saying goodbye when he started acting really sweet and charming, as though the last portion of the evening didn't happen. I felt bad... so I leant in to kiss him goodnight... and _he seemed_ to take it on a different level." Maya paused and looked up at Josh, whose jaw had clenched and grip had tightened around her protectively. She almost laughed as she realized what his behaviour could be categorized as, but decided to continue nonetheless. "I opened the door at some point during that and we stumbled in, but the rest is history," she finished with a resigned air, glancing up and noticing how Josh seemed to deflate in relief when he realized that was the end of her tale.

He had latched onto one thing though and turned to her, holding her chin carefully between his thumb and forefinger, "You never have to feel bad for not sleeping with a guy, Maya," he said quietly. "Besides," he said, tensing as he thought of him again, "the guy's an ass anyways."

Maya laughed lightly, bumping her forehead with his affectionately. She knew they were both crossing lines at the moment but couldn't care less when she saw how he was looking at her. She had seen the look before, but in different forms. She saw it every time Cory made a silly mistake and begged Topanga to fix it. She saw it every time Shawn said goodbye to her mother in the mornings. And she saw it every time Lucas looked at Riley during one of her eccentric rants. It was all the same, and she couldn't help the thrill that ran through her body at the realization. So she reverted to something a little less nerve-racking and looked at Josh instead, "You're jealous, aren't you?" she laughed lightly.

"Pshhh," Josh turned his head away from hers, trying to hide the small smile on his face. "Puh-lease."

"Really?" Maya joked, turning his face back to hers and relishing in how his eyes briefly dropped to her lips before returning to hers. It was hard to be in such close proximity to him and not do _anything_ but she managed to restrain herself. "So you wouldn't mind if I went into details about Logan would you? Because apart from the whole last bit, he was an incredible date."

"Ugh," Josh groaned, not wanting to revisit that topic again. "Fine," he sighed. "Of course I'm jealous," he said softly, pressing his lips to her forehead gently, knowing he shouldn't move down any further but wanting more than anything to. So he settled for words. "Do you honestly expect me not to be Maya?" he asked, incredulity lacing his tone as he watched her face soften. She had a look that he couldn't quite place, both pensive, irritated (likely from their argument), and loving.

"No, I guess not," Maya shrugged, her eyes still closing from his kiss.

"It sucks Maya." Josh whispered. "I want to be the one who makes you laugh," he tickled her rib cage lightly, smiling at the small giggle that erupted from her. He kept his hand there, unable to find the restraint to move it- loving how it rose and fell with every shaky breath she took. He knew she was nervous, he was too, it was the most contact they'd had in a long time. Their walls had fallen, if only for the night. Maya Hart did not giggle in any normal circumstance, so he paused to continue. "I want to be the one to make you smile all the time, it's one of my favourite things in the world. And," he broke off, unsure of how his next words would be received. He knew what he was about to say was not fair on any level- so much of the time he felt as though he only represented empty promises to her, yet he couldn't restrain himself when he looked at the blue orbs staring back at him with utter trust. Some moments were worth the pain following them. "I want to be the one who can kiss you like that," he whispered into her ear, his lips tickling her and sending tiny electric shocks up and down her body as she shivered from his proximity. "I always have," he admitted softly.

He watched as she turned to look at him, loving and hating how he knew they would fit together if he was allowed to close the space between them. He had already done it before, it wasn't a good idea to give in again, yet he was forced to reconsider his words when Maya spoke quietly.

"Then why don't you?" she asked, semi-innocently, knowing how much they both wanted to, but couldn't. Caving before it was their time to be together was an awful idea. They had both spent the month following their last kiss trying to piece themselves back together, and even when they were finally healed, there were still a few pieces missing. But when Josh looked at her and the soft pleading look in her eyes, he knew that he'd still rather have his heart broken a few more times in exchange for her in that moment. So he leaned in cautiously, taking Maya by surprise. She always over-estimated his self-restraint; it wasn't as though he was made of stone.

She closed the gap between them lightly, brushing her lips against his and feeling her heart nearly stop at the familiarity. His left hand moved to lace their fingers together and his other went to cradle her cheek, acting as support as they shared what could only be described as a sweet kiss. Maya always expected an explosion when she imagined this moment in her head- a year's worth of unresolved tension reaching a brink and the two falling into each other without any sense of precariousness. Yet, she couldn't help but savour the light feel of his lips on hers, repeatedly reconnecting as though offering endless promises. It was gentle, yet she could still feel the underlying tension ready to spring out and consume them if they let it. So she pulled away, smiling when he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth in persistence, unready for the moment to come to an end.

She would readily admit she wasn't either, so she squeezed his hand and looked up at him with a question in her eyes. "Stay with me?" she asked in an almost docile manner, suddenly avoiding eye contact as she fidgeted with his hand.

He saw her fumbling slightly, obviously embarrassed by her request, but sticking by it nonetheless. After everything that happened within the last hour, he couldn't bring himself to say no, so he nodded, gulping slightly hard as he realized what kinds of implications may be associated with that request. Yet at the same time, he knew he would stay regardless. But… "Um," he cleared his throat, "what about your mom and Shawn?"

She smiled, grateful for at least one thing that evening. "Shawn had a conference in Boston so my mom went with him."

Josh raised his eyebrows, "They trusted you to have the place to yourself on prom night?" he asked incredulously.

"What can I say," Maya exhaled, moving to stand up and stretching adorably, "They're not as paranoid as your brother."

"Maybe they should be," Josh muttered, noting how he was spending the night with Maya. It was an unexpected end to their night, but an appreciated one nonetheless.

"Ugh, calm down Boing," Maya quipped while rifling through her drawers in search for pajamas that didn't look like they belonged to a seven year-old. "It's not like we're sleeping together or anything," she said, turning around and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Josh blushed and turned away, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, no Maya," he almost laughed at the absurdity of the request. He could count the number of times they kissed on one hand, they weren't quite ready for that.

"You're such a vibe-killer, Matthews," Maya complained, heading for the bathroom. He nearly rolled his eyes when he saw her swaying her hips lightly. "I'm assuming you don't need anything, Boing?" She called over her shoulder. "You look like you're pretty good to go."

Josh looked down at his christmas tree pajama bottoms, "Yeah, pretty much," he said, smiling when he realized that she had stopped in the doorway to take him in.

"I can't believe you walked here in that," she laughed, "You're such a dork."

"Hey, I was in a bit of a rush!" Josh joked.

"Well it took you long enough to get here," Maya asked elusively, fiddling with the folded shirt in her hands. "As I remember it's a ten minute walk from Riley's, not an hour."

Josh looked down sheepishly. "I fell asleep," he admitted, avoiding her eyes and instead focusing on the shaggy rug next to her bed.

"Good to know I'm high on your priority list," Maya teased before walking out the door and going to the bathroom, leaving an open-mouthed Josh in her wake.

He closed his mouth and smiled ruefully. There was just something about her at times that he couldn't understand, but loved nonetheless. He had just placed his head on her pillow when he heard padded steps walk into the room and pause. He rolled onto his sight and took in the sight in front of him. Maya stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, and a frustrated expression on her face. But what had him shocked was how she seemed to glow in her blush prom dress. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he took in how the soft chiffon clung to her figure in places yet flowed gracefully in others, creating an almost ethereal effect.

Maya smirked when she realized what he was doing, secretly thrilled that he could think of her that way. But at the same time, she was sick of her dress, so she lunged forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him unceremoniously out of bed. "I need help Boing, if you could take a second and stop drooling at me."

Josh felt the blood rise to his cheeks and nearly spluttered before he caught himself and just gave up in response. 'What is it?" he asked, with a faked impatience, wanting nothing more than to spin her around romantically. He had been spending far too much time with his niece.

"I can't reach my zipper," Maya said simply, turning her back to him and lifting her hair expectantly.

She paused when she heard him hesitate, breathing again when he sighed and brought his hand to her zipper.

Josh gulped and brought the zipper down it's track, having to close his eyes momentarily at the smooth skin it exposed in the process. He brought it down to the end and felt the inevitable intimacy of the moment. Overwhelmed, he brushed the back of his hand against the base of her spine before letting his hand move and curl at her waist, relishing in her soft skin and wishing that he could just stay like that. Maya had frozen long ago, but she sighed when she felt his other hand move her hair to the side. His lips pressed a gentle kiss to the curve of her neck and Maya swore her heart stopped for a moment. She closed her eyes and exhaled when she felt his warm breath on her shoulder, nearly groaning when he stepped back… again. There was always one step forward and several backwards, and while Maya had dissected that pattern long ago, it didn't make it any less frustrating.

Josh cleared his throat and sat back onto the duvet. He knew his restraints often slipped up around Maya, but this evening he had blatantly broken more than one. Yet, he couldn't regret it. He knew he would eventually, but not yet.

Maya left the room without thanking him, her heart racing a little too quickly for her comfort. Josh laid back on her bed for the second time that evening. It was past three and he couldn't help but be grateful that it was a Friday. Not that he hadn't pulled all-nighters and gone to class the next morning, but it just wasn't preferable.

He rolled over to create space when he saw Maya return, clad in flannel from head to toe. He smiled as he took her in- her prom dress was beautiful, but Maya in her natural state was incomparable.

"Stop staring at me like that, Boing," Maya quipped semi-sarcastically, knowing her next words to be true, but unsure if she could pull them off jokingly. "You're going to break my heart."

She lifted up the covers and laid down, carefully turning to face him. She had the blankets bunched next to her face and she looked up at him with a smile on her face. She knew when the night was over that she'd miss him painfully and that old wounds would reopen, but she couldn't bring herself to separate from him, so she gave in instead.

Josh blushed for the millionth time that night. She did things to him that he couldn't quite handle yet. "What do you want me to do?" he asked in a whisper.

Maya nearly rolled her eyes, it was pretty obvious what she wanted him to do at that point, but she knew it wasn't the best idea realistically. So she gave him a look and continued with her previous thought. "So how do you want to do this?" she asked jokingly.

"I think this is where I suggest that we stack books between us," Josh teased.

Maya groaned and turned her back to face him. "Fine Boing," she muttered. "I'll give you some space."

Josh watched her pull the blankets closer to her chin and attempt to get comfortable. He knew that they had to keep some space, but he couldn't stop himself. So he wrapped his forearm around her waist and tugged her back against him, sighing in relief when they were finally reconnected. Maya let a small laugh escape, "Couldn't stay away, could you?" she teased. He shook his head and buried his face in the curve of her neck, so she decided on a moment of candor. "It's okay," she whispered, "I wouldn't have lasted long either."

That should have been enough, but it was Maya after all. So she pushed a little further. She turned back to face him quickly and made her decision the moment he looked in her eyes confusedly. She pressed her lips to his, not leaving any room for objection, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She had meant to kiss him softly, but she lost herself for a moment in the feel of his body against hers and pulled herself flush against him, inciting a groan from his lips.

Josh couldn't think from the moment she had pressed herself against him onwards. He could feel her chest against his and he realized that she was far more experienced than their last moment on the fire escape. Her lips were pressed urgently against his and when her tongue swept into his mouth he didn't even attempt to stop her. Instead, he shifted so he hovered over her and let things play out for once. She gasped, clearly surprised that he had let her go so far, smiling against his lips when she felt his hands travel down her body, tracing her curves with painstaking care. He was in the process of losing his _fucking mind_ , when her hands dipped underneath his shirt. He took a sharp intake of breath and pulled himself away from her, rolling onto his back beside her. The space between them was charged and he grasped her hand, listening to her short breaths beside him. Her eyes were closed and scrunched up, and he knew that he was going to hear it in a minute.

"What the hell, Josh?" Maya murmured. He nearly jumped at how quiet her voice was, he was expecting more of an angry outburst. "You can't just do- do _that_. You can't just let me _kiss you like that_ and pull away. I'm not just here for your amusement. I'm not a rag doll, you can't just throw me away when you feel like it."

Josh opened his mouth as he realized how this must seem to her.

She turned to look at him, "I know you don't mean to Josh, but it certainly feels like that sometimes. You can't just cut me off when _you_ think we're going too far. You don't get to make that decision for me."

He recovered momentarily, turning onto his side and cupping her face gently, "And what if it's not for you?" he murmured, his eyes flitting unwillingly towards her lips before looking up again. "Maybe I'm not quite ready for this," he said, shivering as she placed her hand back on the bare skin of his hip.

Maya nearly laughed when he said that, "Humour me," she said somewhat bitterly. "I know that you've done-" she gestured between them, insinuating beyond their current situation, "all this before."

Josh looked away, his face flushing slightly, and that was the only confirmation she needed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, this next part would be hard for her.

"I don't care what you've done with other girls," she said, attempting to place as much honesty in that sentence as possible. "This," she referred to their situation, "wasn't part of our deal. You're fine on that front. But _because it wasn't_ , you don't get to dictate what we do or don't."

Josh sighed before looking back at her, guilt apparent in his eyes. "It's not that I don't want to, Maya. I'd have to be blind to not want to. I just don't think it's a good idea. You're _seventeen_."

Maya rolled her eyes, "Almost eighteen."

"Yeah," he whispered, pulling her close to him again, "but there is a difference."

"Yeah, well," Maya paused, her cheeks colouring slightly, "when did you first-"

He groaned when he realized that his answer would only justify her, but cut her off anyways. "Seventeen," he sighed.

"HA!" Maya shot up, looming her face over his. He could have laughed at her excitement, but he knew where she was going with it. "You are _such_ a HYPOCRITE!"

"Maya," he began.

"Nope!" she popped her "p" gleefully. "You need to stop. I know we're not together, but you're a little strict at times."

"Maya," Josh paused, knowing things needed to be shut down immediately. "We are _not_ doing this." His stance on that wasn't going to shift.

Maya groaned in exasperation and collapsed back onto the covers, breathing in a huff, and turning so her back faced him. This was not how she wanted things to go, and despite Josh not wanting to follow the path she wanted for the evening, he knew he couldn't leaves things as they were. So he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, whispering into the shell of her ear. She shivered slightly, "I said no for tonight Maya, not never."

He felt her soften against him.

"You're right," he admitted reluctantly. "Things shouldn't be just up to me. This concerns both of us, you have a say in it too."

Maya shifted and turned back to him, wrapping an arm around his neck and playing with his hair idely. She brought their noses together and smiled when she saw him close his eyes.

"I think you underestimate just how much power you have over me," Josh muttered, nudging her nose with his lovingly.

"Trust me," Maya said softly, barely mouthing her words. "It doesn't feel like it." She bit her lip, unsure if she could do what she wanted to do next.

Josh opened his eyes hazily, groaning when he saw her lip bite.

"What's wrong now?" Maya asked, slightly concerned, they just couldn't stop finding problems that night could they?

Josh looked at her seriously, "I'm like _this_ close to breaking my own rules," he admitted.

Relieved, Maya breathed a little shakily as his hand caressed her waist. "Why don't you?" she asked carefully, wanting to continue, but unsure of his hesitation.

"Don't you remember how much of a mess we both were after last time?" he asked quietly.

Maya nodded, recalling the month after the incident on the fire escape. Wanting what she couldn't have, avoiding the apartment when she knew he would be there. Seeing him inevitably and feeling the pain of longing course through her at the sight, wishing more than anything for _something_ , anything really, to sustain her, but knowing it would only result in more pain.

The month wasn't easy for Josh either. He would test his limits, going to the Matthews incessantly and taking her in whenever he could, hating how he couldn't cross the room and wrap her in his arms- but in actuality mostly hating himself. If he had restrained himself that evening, they wouldn't be in the mess they had now. If he had checked on her and returned inside, things would have been different. He wouldn't know how it felt to have his lip between her teeth. How it felt to have her soft cheeks pressed against his. How her hair smelt like apples, soft and silky between his fingers. And he wouldn't know how it felt to make her moan gently against his lips. Nothing he did was excusable, and he regretted them, mostly because they were unregrettable.

Maya sighed, knowing that they would only hurt themselves and that they already had. This evening… she wouldn't be able to get over it, no matter how hard she tried.

"How is it possible that something that feels so right can be so painful?" Josh asked hopelessly, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"What feels so right?" Maya teased, not wanting to wallow in what she knew what was inevitable.

He raised his head, gently placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth. Maya nearly groaned at the proximity, but lack of progress. He was going to kill her.

"You," he said simply. "This," he pointed between the two of them. "Everytime we talk," he murmured, gently rubbing his thumb across her bottom lip. "Every time you grab my hand," he squeezed her other hand. "Everytime we kiss, even though we're not supposed to," he added as an afterthought.

She was on high alert with his last words, expecting him to lean forward and demonstrate. So when he stayed where he was, she nearly screamed with exasperation. Instead, she kept her mouth firmly shut.

"What," Josh joked at her silence. "Is none of that memorable for you?"

Maya broke and reached for his face. "Trust me, it all is," she stated before giving in and pulling his lips back to hers. He gasped into her mouth, moving his lips slowly. She marvelled at the feel of his soft sighs, repeatedly pulling back and returning to press long lingering kisses onto his lips. She pulled away with a sigh. "You already know how I feel about you, Boing."

He groaned, lifting his hands to his face. "You've got to stop doing that Maya, you're killing me."

"Too bad," she said with a grin, "I could have been killing you in other ways if you had let me."

Josh sighed, hating and loving how easily they were drawn towards one another.

"Regret your decision yet?" Maya quipped jokingly.

"No," Josh said decisively. "But, you do make it tempting."

"It's been a long night," Maya laughed, "I'm probably just wearing you down."

"I suppose that's a possibility," Josh grinned.

Maya thought for a moment, "Well," she started hesitantly, "if we can't do… _other stuff_ … at least let me do this," she finished, pulling his arm around her and snuggling into his chest.

Josh sighed. This was fine. He smoothed his cheek against her hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Why does this feel so right?" he thought aloud.

Maya had her eyes closed, but nestled her face further into his neck. "Because it's us," she responded. After a few moments of silence, Josh felt her breathing even out against him and assumed that she had fallen asleep. He never thought her prom night would finish like this. Yet as he took in her calm form and soft breathing, he knew it had ended the way it should. So he looked at the snow swirling outside her window and smiled. His night had taken an unexpected turn. They would hurt, that was inevitable, and the next while would be absolute hell. But there was a certain satisfaction to their situation; he knew that they would attempt to go back to what they had before, but it was impossible. He had known for some time how easily his heart fractured around Maya, yet in times likes these, he had to remind himself that he would rather miss a few pieces then be without her _._ It was a lesson hard-learned... because _fuck. They were in deep._

* * *

 **Have a great holidays guys! Until next time :)**


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